In June 2013, The Art of Not Being Governed held a BEYOND CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE essay contest that asked writers to use as many words as possible from the Homeland Security Keyword Watch List. This essay was submitted by guest-author “Anarcho-Buddy”.
I went to the bar and didn’t know what to think
But I’ve seen on TV
If you’re pretty like me
Ladies might buy you a drink
So I approach a fair lady who says she’s with DHS
Looking for hackers
I said, “That sounds like a mess!”
“Oh yes,” said she, “I’m all about cyber security,
You can get a virus from hoes
Trojan won’t protect you from those
And phreaking worms threaten our cyber purity!”
“Oh dear,” I replied, fearing she had too much liquor
I saw the bartender was too nervous
To give her denial of service
As she talked of China’s confickers
“Spammers and scammers, keyloggers and bloggers, all brute forcing my social media.
I need a MySQL injection
And rootkit protection,
Lest cyber command destroy Botnet and Wikipedia!”
I could see she was off her rocker but couldn’t bring myself to mock her
She was now phishing for compliments
And wanted to search my documents
Cain and Abel could not spare her from cyber terror
She complained about DDOS and I started not to care
She said, “You’ll be sorry!
2600 is not about Atari!
You’ll soon be infected by malware!”
And isn’t this just what I should have expected from the DHS?
They will huff and puff
Threaten us with all kinds of stuff
I sure wish Janet would just give it a rest
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